Many people consider “discipline” the word for responding to misbehavior. The preferred term, guidance, is used in the center and refers to staff guiding children on the path toward a long-term goal of self-discipline. By learning to manage one’s own actions, children become productive members of society who can behave appropriately. The center does have rules and limits. Children who have no boundaries—or who have unclear boundaries—are likely to feel insecure and angry. The rules of the center are basically that children respect and take care of themselves, the other people in the center, and the materials in the environment. Until children are ready to do this independently, the staff will help these children. The environment and the staff facilitate appropriate behavior by creating an environment where children can explore freely and safely, where choices exist to prevent long waits, and space is sufficient to prevent accidental bumps or bruised egos. In other words, the teachers and staff work to prevent misbehavior rather than to correct misbehavior after the fact.
Because gaining self-control is a long process, children at times may do things that endanger themselves or others, or misuse the environment. The way in which those instances are handled will vary according to the age of the child and the child’s capability of understanding the problem. Very young children will be simply redirected. As children grow, the staff will explain the reason the action is wrong and tell the child the behavior that is expected. Also, children are allowed to experience the logical consequences of their actions. A typical scenario might be: “Throwing sand can hurt someone’s eyes. If you throw sand again, you will have to find another place to play this morning.”
No staff member will “tell” on children. The guidance techniques used in the center help children manage their own behavior over time. The staff also understand that learning the rules for living within a group takes time, so mistakes are expected to occur. These mistakes are handled as described above. The policy of the center is to not report each instance of misbehavior to parents on a day-to-day basis, because 1) the center wants the reunion of the parent and child each day to be a joyful one, and 2) the center wants the staff to build trusting relationships with children and to focus on the many positive things that happen during the course of a long day rather than letting a single instance of misbehavior color everyone’s perception. By the time parents come in the late afternoon, young children are likely to have forgotten an event that occurred early in the day, so that being reprimanded at that point will be ineffective.
In the rare instances when the center staff are unable to help a child progress toward self-control, or when children’s behaviors form a pattern and are dangerous to themselves or to others, the teacher and/or director will schedule a meeting with the parents to devise strategies for solving the problem.